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2.7.21
Fear
/ˈfir/
a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
“I am anxious, driven by insecurity and fueled by the fear of failure.”
From my early experiences, I became obsessed with FEAR, addicted to its short term and long term effects. Fear became my most addicted emotion for the rest of my life, especially in my dreams. I would constantly tease, tempt and test myself with all my reactions to the complexities of fear, not even considering the consequences. This would be done as early as elementary school, poor behavior with my teachers, inverted behavior among friends and in large public places. Most times, my fear would be my partner, attached to me in every crucial moment in my life especially when it came to my mother. Fear would dominate me for the rest of my life in relationships, self-esteem, validation and opportunities. Fear became the dark side of R, that Darth Vader voice of influence holding me back from freedom.
Have you ever considered how you allowed fear to take, hinder, withhold or keep from you?
I'm not referring to one specific person, choice or occurrence, I am referring to the essence of fear within yourself that has influenced, deceived or manipulated you in bringing the worst outcomes possible to then never allowing you to take that next step forward in your life. Fear that held you back from that opportunity to elevate yourself, change a situation, walk away from that toxic person, challenge yourself in school or just avoid the inevitable possibility that it may not be that bad but fear told you- “It's gonna be bad if you… so just do what I say…”
Let me give you an example of fear from the perspective of one of my favorite fictional characters, Batman.
One of my favorite movies, The Dark Knight Rises, directed by Christopher Nolan, gave one of the best visuals to explain how to overcome fear. This was the last installment in the Batman Begins trilogy, Bruce Wayne aka Batman was injured by Bane and left in a prison in a foreign country called “Hell on Earth”. The only way for Wayne to escape this prison was by climbing a 300+ yard high wall tied to a rope to reach as high to the top of this wall. Wayne fought to be healed from his injury and was building up his physical strength to escape, even admitting he wouldn’t die in this prison. A prison doctor argued, “the leap to freedom is not about strength; survival is the spirit, the soul“. Wayne also assumed in order to fight fear, he must use anger through his mind and body to escape. After multiple failed attempts, the prison doctor advised him on fear. Wayne compared himself to the child that escaped the same prison. How could a child accomplish what no other man could?
The dialogue goes…
Blind Prisoner: You do not fear death. You think this makes you strong. It makes you weak.
Bruce Wayne: Why?
Blind Prisoner: How can you move faster than possible, fight longer than possible without the most powerful impulse of the spirit: the fear of death?
Bruce Wayne: I do fear death. I fear dying in here, while my city burns, and there’s no one there to save it.
Blind Prisoner: Then make the climb!
Bruce Wayne: How?
Blind Prisoner: As the child did. Without the rope. Then fear will find you again...
So I pose this scenario to you, how many “hells on earth” or prison traumas have you experienced in your life?
How many times have you tried to confront fear in anger, emotions, substances, toxic relationships, poor decisions or just instinctual survival mode to escape this hell; only to fail to escape?
If you could have confronted fear in this case, would you have done the same thing Wayne did? What would it take for you to ‘rise up’ without any security, no rope, no safety net to risk your confrontation with fear to escape your prison?
I can say, this scene has been crucial to my mental and emotional victories in multiple moments of my life even in my daily life.
The doctor explained the child escaped without the safety rope, accepting the imminent danger of fear, the fear of death. Wayne realized it was not about escaping from the prison Bane left him in, but it was the prison of his childhood, the fear he fought his entire life to become Batman and live out his legacy. Wayne took the risk of climbing without the rope, as the prisoners chanted “deshi basara”, which Nolan translated as “rise up” in English. How can a child in comparison to a physically superior, emotionally stable and mature adult overcome fear to escape this prison?
It’s our choice to confront and fight fear, pain and effects of the traumatic experiences. I’ve escaped many prisons in my life, hopefully you have as well. I can say, there are some prisons I have yet to escape.
But what is greater than fear? Torment? God is. Our Hope is greater than fear. I believe there will always be a battle with fear in our highest and lowest moments. Fight Fear but don't do it alone.
Fear
/ˈfir/
a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
“I am anxious, driven by insecurity and fueled by the fear of failure.”
From my early experiences, I became obsessed with FEAR, addicted to its short term and long term effects. Fear became my most addicted emotion for the rest of my life, especially in my dreams. I would constantly tease, tempt and test myself with all my reactions to the complexities of fear, not even considering the consequences. This would be done as early as elementary school, poor behavior with my teachers, inverted behavior among friends and in large public places. Most times, my fear would be my partner, attached to me in every crucial moment in my life especially when it came to my mother. Fear would dominate me for the rest of my life in relationships, self-esteem, validation and opportunities. Fear became the dark side of R, that Darth Vader voice of influence holding me back from freedom.
Have you ever considered how you allowed fear to take, hinder, withhold or keep from you?
I'm not referring to one specific person, choice or occurrence, I am referring to the essence of fear within yourself that has influenced, deceived or manipulated you in bringing the worst outcomes possible to then never allowing you to take that next step forward in your life. Fear that held you back from that opportunity to elevate yourself, change a situation, walk away from that toxic person, challenge yourself in school or just avoid the inevitable possibility that it may not be that bad but fear told you- “It's gonna be bad if you… so just do what I say…”
Let me give you an example of fear from the perspective of one of my favorite fictional characters, Batman.
One of my favorite movies, The Dark Knight Rises, directed by Christopher Nolan, gave one of the best visuals to explain how to overcome fear. This was the last installment in the Batman Begins trilogy, Bruce Wayne aka Batman was injured by Bane and left in a prison in a foreign country called “Hell on Earth”. The only way for Wayne to escape this prison was by climbing a 300+ yard high wall tied to a rope to reach as high to the top of this wall. Wayne fought to be healed from his injury and was building up his physical strength to escape, even admitting he wouldn’t die in this prison. A prison doctor argued, “the leap to freedom is not about strength; survival is the spirit, the soul“. Wayne also assumed in order to fight fear, he must use anger through his mind and body to escape. After multiple failed attempts, the prison doctor advised him on fear. Wayne compared himself to the child that escaped the same prison. How could a child accomplish what no other man could?
The dialogue goes…
Blind Prisoner: You do not fear death. You think this makes you strong. It makes you weak.
Bruce Wayne: Why?
Blind Prisoner: How can you move faster than possible, fight longer than possible without the most powerful impulse of the spirit: the fear of death?
Bruce Wayne: I do fear death. I fear dying in here, while my city burns, and there’s no one there to save it.
Blind Prisoner: Then make the climb!
Bruce Wayne: How?
Blind Prisoner: As the child did. Without the rope. Then fear will find you again...
So I pose this scenario to you, how many “hells on earth” or prison traumas have you experienced in your life?
How many times have you tried to confront fear in anger, emotions, substances, toxic relationships, poor decisions or just instinctual survival mode to escape this hell; only to fail to escape?
If you could have confronted fear in this case, would you have done the same thing Wayne did? What would it take for you to ‘rise up’ without any security, no rope, no safety net to risk your confrontation with fear to escape your prison?
I can say, this scene has been crucial to my mental and emotional victories in multiple moments of my life even in my daily life.
The doctor explained the child escaped without the safety rope, accepting the imminent danger of fear, the fear of death. Wayne realized it was not about escaping from the prison Bane left him in, but it was the prison of his childhood, the fear he fought his entire life to become Batman and live out his legacy. Wayne took the risk of climbing without the rope, as the prisoners chanted “deshi basara”, which Nolan translated as “rise up” in English. How can a child in comparison to a physically superior, emotionally stable and mature adult overcome fear to escape this prison?
It’s our choice to confront and fight fear, pain and effects of the traumatic experiences. I’ve escaped many prisons in my life, hopefully you have as well. I can say, there are some prisons I have yet to escape.
But what is greater than fear? Torment? God is. Our Hope is greater than fear. I believe there will always be a battle with fear in our highest and lowest moments. Fight Fear but don't do it alone.
2.1.2021
Relaunch: In the Beginning...
be·gin·ning
/bəˈɡiniNG/
noun- the point in time or space at which something starts.
“I am tortured by my past and haunted by fear of the present…”
Moments exist for a defined period of time, moments expire and those outcomes lead to the next moment in life. I’ve been obsessed with time, the past and present (yesterday, today) while I fixate on controlling the future- tomorrow. There are those of us who don’t worry about the confines of time, not about yesterday, today or tomorrow, so we live each moment spontaneously and soak ourselves in the experiences of that moment. Either way I’ve had a love and hate relationship with time. Time has been the worst ex since I could remember, she is good to me but gives me hell when she’s ready. But I'm in love with time but she can be….
Time has a crew of friends called fate, purpose and destiny; these confrontations with time and their friends have taken me on courses which led into the next stage of existence or next moment. We differ because we cope with time differently, not to consider the impact of time, not even the consequences or outcomes of our choices. We walk along different paths, figuring things out as we go along from experience to experience, moment to moment in time.
I’ve learned our lifetime is composed of experiences from birth to death, finite within the present, past and future categorized by infinite detours, mistakes, regrets and incomplete goals. There are beginnings that we never chose, for example, like our birth. But we can choose the current path that leads to a variety of paths or our ultimate ending, our death. Very simply, paths are our journeys, missions, goals, decisions and opportunities, we are a beginning and all things must come to an end in some form or fashion.
Let’s start at your beginning… Have you ever considered the story of the day you were born? The process to which your mother, father, family and relatives were preparing for your arrival in this world?
Let’s think about your birthplace, location, time and date of your birth. Can you say your entrance into this world was announced? Or just random and unplanned?
Were you excited to come into this world? It seems like we didn’t have a choice how our life began, that was planned by someone else. After your immediate birth, who chose your name? Were you named after someone or did you get a name designated for yourself?
Either way, by your name alone, you were already identified by someone else's experiences.
We all have a beginning, a start and how many chances do we have to be "born again".
Relaunch: In the Beginning...
be·gin·ning
/bəˈɡiniNG/
noun- the point in time or space at which something starts.
“I am tortured by my past and haunted by fear of the present…”
Moments exist for a defined period of time, moments expire and those outcomes lead to the next moment in life. I’ve been obsessed with time, the past and present (yesterday, today) while I fixate on controlling the future- tomorrow. There are those of us who don’t worry about the confines of time, not about yesterday, today or tomorrow, so we live each moment spontaneously and soak ourselves in the experiences of that moment. Either way I’ve had a love and hate relationship with time. Time has been the worst ex since I could remember, she is good to me but gives me hell when she’s ready. But I'm in love with time but she can be….
Time has a crew of friends called fate, purpose and destiny; these confrontations with time and their friends have taken me on courses which led into the next stage of existence or next moment. We differ because we cope with time differently, not to consider the impact of time, not even the consequences or outcomes of our choices. We walk along different paths, figuring things out as we go along from experience to experience, moment to moment in time.
I’ve learned our lifetime is composed of experiences from birth to death, finite within the present, past and future categorized by infinite detours, mistakes, regrets and incomplete goals. There are beginnings that we never chose, for example, like our birth. But we can choose the current path that leads to a variety of paths or our ultimate ending, our death. Very simply, paths are our journeys, missions, goals, decisions and opportunities, we are a beginning and all things must come to an end in some form or fashion.
Let’s start at your beginning… Have you ever considered the story of the day you were born? The process to which your mother, father, family and relatives were preparing for your arrival in this world?
Let’s think about your birthplace, location, time and date of your birth. Can you say your entrance into this world was announced? Or just random and unplanned?
Were you excited to come into this world? It seems like we didn’t have a choice how our life began, that was planned by someone else. After your immediate birth, who chose your name? Were you named after someone or did you get a name designated for yourself?
Either way, by your name alone, you were already identified by someone else's experiences.
We all have a beginning, a start and how many chances do we have to be "born again".